When the Answer is NO


The guy that just won’t call you back.

The lady that gently refuses all advances.

The ex who isn’t going to return to you-not now, not ever.

The boss who sits you down to tell you why they went with your co-worker for the promotion.

Your friend who picked the other person to go to the party with.

The poem that got rejected.

Calls that weren’t made, letters that weren’t written, paths not taken. NO.


Sometimes the answer is simply no. 

NO can be painful, soul crushing, a sucker punch to the solar plexus, a smacking your face right up against the sheer cliff of reality-where faith seems very small indeed.

NO can be liberating, freeing, a gleaming, bright truth that you can set your lights by and follow to a deep(er) & true(er) sense of direction, purpose, joy.

In my own experience NO is something I hate to hear-and when I look back a year later, I am almost always thankful that I did hear it-thankful for the doors that have closed firmly and finally in my face. Thankful that option was taken off the table. Happy to have that path once and for all decided on as the one I will not be traveling this lifetime, thank you very much.

NO requires a sharp intake of breath, a sizzle of electricity over the skin, the bottom of your stomach falling out, a moment to mourn for what could have been. You can stay there-in that hopeless place for as long as you choose.

Or you can rise up to meet NO with “what if…”, “could it be…”, “maybe now…”. 

NO can challenge you to stretch yourself, go upside down, turn it around, STOP engaging in actions and behaviors that do not serve you or those around you.

NO might just free up your energy to get on with doing what you really need to be doing.

My advice when confronted with a NO?

Don’t let it suck your faith out of you. Consider that your faith might be deeper & more full of grace than you ever knew-and that this NO might just be the beginning of you getting down to business and doing what you really need to be doing in this one, sweet, short life.

Meet it. Face it.

My petition for you? Take the power of NO for your own, put it to work for you and don’t give yourself, your passion, your faith over to it.

You never know what is just around the bend & its not what you are told-its what you do with it that makes all the difference.

13 responses to “When the Answer is NO

  1. This is a beautiful post and such WISE advice. No one likes to hear no (I sure don’t) but often a no opens the door to a bigger yes.

  2. Miss Bri on said:

    It is SO absolutely true Theresa! I was inspired to write this because so many of my friends, colleagues, and clients have been struggling with life’s NO’s that always seem accentuated by mercury in retrograde-I have a hard time with No too-but as I said in the post-I am SO THANKFUL for some of the No’s I received once my 20/20 hindsight kicked in!

  3. Joan Cox on said:

    This is post comes at such a great time for me. You really just reconfirmed what I try to tell myself. If its a no then its a no. No matter how hard I try to make it a yes, its a no. But you are right, in hindsight it is most always best. Thank you for posting this when I really needed to hear it……. again! ^_~

  4. Miss Bri on said:

    Hi Joan! You are so welcome. We all deal with No’s all the time in life, and I think its important to keep that in mind. Knowing that OUR attitude can dramatically change the way we hold those No’s is awesome because it gives us back our power ad ability to be self-determined and saucy!

  5. To accept the No’s the universe makes for us so that we can get to the place of wisdom to say no for ourselves, besides if you never hear No…must not have asked anything of this life. Great post Bri, we all need to hear this

  6. Oh so beautifully written! Sometimes we simply need to have faith that the “no’s” are for our higher good! A hard pill to swallow at times!

  7. Wow. Just wow. How do you always know exactly what I need to hear? (Oh, right…it’s that intuitive thing, huh?) :-)

    I think you’re so right about ‘no.’ I recently had a very big, very sad ‘no’ in my life and I’m working hard to take your advice. I’m finding it’s like 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Anyone else feel that way with trying to own the power?

  8. Miss Bri on said:

    Thanks Meg-I like your point that if you don’t hear No, you haven’t asked for much from life!

  9. Miss Bri on said:

    Very true Sue-so glad you enjoyed it!

  10. Miss Bri on said:

    Yes! There is actually a Tarot card that I love for describing the one step forward, two step back process. Its the Knight of Wands! xo

  11. Well said! Truly inspiring and poetic. Sometimes for me no means…not now or not yet.

  12. I can relate to your post. there is a saying that sometimes something good falls apart in order something better can take place.
    When I just came to London I applied to work as a store manager in Starbucks, I’m so grateful that they say “no”

  13. thank you for this post Miss Bri, it’s especially meaningful on a day like today.