In one of the traditions that forms my personal practice reconciliation refers to a wide body of ritual lore and magical formulas aimed at reconciling lovers who have parted ways. Reconciliation work is the most commonly requested service, period. More than general love drawing, more than sex & romance, more than the blessing of children & families, and more than any kind of money drawing work you can think of, folks look to magic & ritual when their heart’s are broken and hurting.
Any professional cunning man or woman worth their salt is upfront & honest with potential clients-reconciliation work is difficult, usually long term, and even in the best of circumstances faces more challenges that other types of magical ritual work. In other words, these are difficult cases. Yet clients still seek it out, pay for it, and when things work out everyone feels like something major has been accomplished.
There are some excellent places on the web where you can learn about the traditions surrounding romantic reconciliation as well as the herbs, roots, and curios used in ritual work that has reconciliation as its goal. But today I want to talk about the spiritual component of reconciliation.
Theologically reconciliation deals with one aspect of salvation-the re-uniting of the soul with the Divine, the Source of All. In the Catholic church the act of Confession is sometimes called the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation. Now some people see God/Goddess/Spirit in Christ on the cross, or in Our Lady of Guadalupe, or in Cerridwen, or in the Green Man, or in Yaweh, or in Yemayah, or Buddha, or Krishna, or in the stones, plants, animals, and living soil on which they live. Most religious traditions agree that as it is above, so it is below-that we, each of us, have a share in the divine, in the Godhead, in the Source of All. That means that when we seek to reconcile with our own sense of the Divine we must first reconcile with ourselves. I don’t think its an accident that many mystical traditions the Gnostic Christianity and Sufism to name a couple, view God as the ultimate lover & beloved-when we seek out the Divine we do so from an impulse to know and love more deeply and truly.
This is why spiritually speaking romantic reconciliation work is so difficult to achieve-not because people fuss & fight or because broken up relationships are beyond repair, but because, as Confucius says-we must look within first and address our shortcomings before commenting on someone else’s. We must look within and see clearly-warts and all our own illusions, shortcomings, fears, mis-placed prides–we have to deal with our crap. Once we see it clearly we can acknowledge and address the scars, the blocks, and illusions. We can apply a healing balm to those parts of ourselves that have been wounded, cut up, and isolated, we can summon a bit of breath and brightness to our hidden places,–we can reconcile in, of, and with ourselves and in so doing acknowledge our own blessed divinity.
Reconciliation is not for all times and places. It is specific work applied at particular moments in a day, a week, a month, a life. But if you are feeling the “fracking F’s” as I call them: fragmented, fractured, fearful, and frazzled-then it might be time to consider reconciling with the greatest lover of all-yourself.
*The above image was snapped while I was on vacation in Santa Fe. These rough, hand made wooden crosses are arrayed around Our Lady of Guadalupe’s Sanctuary on, appropriately enough, Guadalupe street. Each cross has been embellished with prayers and petitions-usually humble requests dealing with the business of daily life–needs of health, finances, family peace, and success. Once the petition is written down the crossed are hung around Our Lady for her blessing.
Bri, I love the invitation to reconcile with oneself. The call to break through our own illusions and honestly look at and let go of our old crap is becoming stronger, me thinks. May we all rise up and fall deeply in love with ourselves – the world would be absolutely transformed. Thank you for sharing your gifts!! xoxo.nona
ah yes, we can no fully love others until we fully love ourselves!!
What a beautiful reminder that it all comes down to reconciliation with ourselves first. As I have been (slowly) learning to see myself more clearly and with greater compassion and forgiveness, I am finding it easier to forgive others and to treat them with compassion even in the disagreements and conflicts. Thanks so much for this reminder of why I do this work!
How come we find it easier to love others than ourselves? Going to treat myself like a friend today instead of the enemy.
Right on Amy! Thanks for the Bri. I love the Latin traditions of reconciliation, forgiveness and the rituals attached to them, such as the crosses you show at the beginning of the post.
Thank you Nona! I am so glad the the post spoke to you
Amen to that!
Beautiful truth! It’s interesting that so many people seek this out – so many people in desperate need of reconciliation. I want to hug them all. Thank you for sharing this.
Kenetha-that is so true-forgiving others (like pretty much everything else) must start with the self!
Yay! Let me know how it goes!
I really love those crosses too. Although I am not a churchgoer I appreciate ritual in its many varied forms
To reconcile…this is a word my mind had forgotten and needed reminding of. Trying to overcome fear, anxiety and guilt realizing these thing do not serve me and yet I must reconcile with myself in order to break free. Amazing how words can crack open the heart…thank you
Hi Meg-I am glad that the post spoke to you-reconcile is a word I use a lot-but I wanted to take some time to think about it a bit more deeply–glad it resonated!
Love the ‘fracking F’s'…made me laugh. Your writing is so beautiful Bri..and loved hearing more about your traditions. Divine as Beloved and our own need to reconcile turned inward is of course much harder than all of our wishes that are so typically turned outward..loved every word.
xox
Lisa
http://www.Intuitivebody.com
Simple Sacred Solutions to Living Beautifully In Your Body
Reconciling with ourselves – yes! How can we forgive another when we cannot forgive ourselves? This is a beautiful and thought provoking post.
Oh, my. Powerful photo. Powerful words. I saw the photo earlier today and knew you’d have special magic to share. You did not disappoint. Everything always begins within….Thank you for your wisdom and honesty.
The theme that has captured me of late is that I am whole. Not only am I not broken now but that I wasn’t broken before. I remember that language from my church experiences … but usually it was a matter of saying, “I am broken but God sees me as whole”
Now I am saying, “I am not broken and I see that I am whole”
I am on a journey to reclaim my spiritual language. You have expressed here a piece of my own thoughts.
Oh Bri, thank you for this beautiful, loving post. Reconciliation is one of my favourite examination words and activities. Kinda like forgiveness but with more depth and openness to peace. Tonight, I go to bed reconciled to embrace where I am right here, right now and know that all is well and good
Thank you Marita-yes, the Sanctuary to Our Lady is very powerful indeed. Clarissa Pinkola Estes tells the store about it in her new work Untie the Strong Woman-basically the statue to Our Lady was created and given sanctuary in Santa Fe as a community response to the problems and heartbreak surrounding immigration from Mexico to the US-a subject near and dear to us in the Border states.
Being a shaman, I often see what you are calling “reconciliation” as soul retrieval work. But I like this take on it. The piece of the soul isn’t lost – it’s like you’re just not speaking to it right now. In essence, this is shadow work.
Into the darkness I tramp – squish, squish, squish. Are you here? Are you there? Suuuuuck – POP! Oh,there you are! Now let’s get you cleaned up and back home where you belong!
Love it Cynthia! The move to not seeing yourself as broken is so very important methinks!
Lovely thoughts and intention Ali-rock on!
Love this Kelle-yes, its definitely similar in spirit to soul retrieval work!
I have a LOT of reconciling to do. Strange that I’m always in such a hurry to work things out with others, but when it comes to myself, I always seem to put it off.
I think it’s such an important message that you have to find and come back to yourself, before you can be truly open to someone else. I know I’m not truly at peace with who I am yet, I feel like I’m ina relationship with me, getting to know the real me who has been hidden for so long. I want to take the time and space to know me and love me completely and then I think I can be open to letting someone else in.
I love the post and the picture – so beautiful.
Oh Bri!!! I love the way you express yourself.
I believe that we all are part of the Divine- that we each are Source energy and when I feel the “fracking F’s” it’s an indication that I’m out of alignment with my divinity.
It’s not surprising that so many people seek this work out!
Feeling fractured from oneself sucks.
You know what Stephanie-recognizing that is a reconciliation in and of itself!
Claire, I think that your words ring true for each and everyone of us at some point in our lives!
Leah! I am so glad you liked this-and yeah, feeling fractured does suck!
Excellent reminder to look at ourselves before attacking others. The unity you mentioned is why I love yoga (which means “yoke” or “union”) — reconciling body and mind for one integrated being. But you’re right…it is SO difficult sometimes.
This blog is perfect for spiritual healing. We really cannot give others what we don’t have… Loving someone has to mean that you love yourself and you love God. Same with forgiveness, we should not expect others to forgive us if we cannot do the same. In everything that we impart to others, it has to start from ourselves. xoxo